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| Shaler: By the numbers | ||||
| Gayton graduates with dirtiness Shaler's biggest legend (not to mention cocksucker), Chris Gayton, has printed his image all over this fine school of ours. A few short days ago, Gayton said goodbye to Shaler Area, the place where everybody teased the hell out of him for three long years, the place where he sucked his first cock in Joe Riehart's, and the place where his legacy will live on forever. Many people were shocked that Gayton even showed up to not only commencement but grauation practice as well. "I thought that since the kid is a fucking legend and has lived as a reclose all his worthless life, that he'd at least finish up that way, the fucking faggot" said Junior ALT1 Greg Argenas while eating a cheeseburger. Gayton showed up to practice with his usual greasy white hat that now is as black and greasy as Tony DiRenzo's hair. The smell of Gayton was so foul that senior principal David Shutter called practice on a count of shankiness. "That foul-smelling son of a bitch wasn't even invited to grad practice. We were just going to mail his diploma to his house but then we remebered that he lives on the streets, which might be a good reason why this fruitcake showed up to practice" screamed Shutter as the top of his lungs. When graduation day finally arrived and the buses were riding students up to the field for the ceremony, the bus Gayton was on all of a sudden was invested with ticks and roaches as well as airborne herpes. "It wasn't me, i swear. I don't know where those fleas and ticks came from. They just showed up whenever i got on the bus" said Gayton in his faggot-like voice. Ever try taking a shower, you dirtyass retard? As for the airbone herpes, a well-specificed Millvale doctor said that the only known airborne herpes gets in the airbone stage because it was orginally spread from a homosexual. Right now, they've narrowed down the suspects to 2 notorius cocksuckers: Gayton and Chris Petrick. After the ceremony concluded, instead of throwing his cap in the air, Gayton responded by throwing his traditional dirt in the air which came dirtectly from his scalp. After that, an era in Shaler history came to a close. The era that Gayton and his extremely bad higene ruled the school and being a dirtball was above being a no good, clean cut prep such as Mike Johnson. Gayton turned all of Millvale into a huge fraternity that everyone wanted to be apart of. Gayton and his legacy will remain constant in Shaler always. As long as Tony Larkin is still going out with girls 24/7, as long as Brian Bell keeps on shaving his sideburns, as long as Pete Hood keeps missing school for no reason other than to smoke up, Gayton's legacy will live on. |
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